I'd Rather Be Asleep

1. Cloud 9
2. Carbon Copies
3. Fix Me
4. Rose
5. Father Said
6. Let The Colours Fade To Grey
7. Saint
8. Marked With A Curse
9. White Water
10. Spiral

1. Cloud 9

Burn your face into the back of my mind
So I'll never forget how you looked that night
At the perfect time you entered my life
It started as a spark and turned into a wildfire

Your heart on a string in front of me
Peering through the screen but I can't reach
Eyes of emerald green, enamoring
Cosmic mystery or destiny?
No one else exists

Every time I close my eyes
I'm finding myself back on cloud nine
If this is just a dream
I'd rather be asleep
And if I don't wake up I'll be just fine
I'll be just fine

Bliss, reveling in reverie
Is this too good to be real?
If this is heaven, then where have I been?
'Cause my head's up in the clouds and I'm never coming down
I'm never coming down

Every time I close my eyes
I'm finding myself back on cloud nine
If this is just a dream
I'd rather be asleep
And if I don't wake up I'll be just fine
I'll be just fine
I'll be just fine
I'll be just fine

Take my hand, I'll carry you away
Won't you stay and fly with me

I close my eyes
I'm finding myself back on cloud nine

Every time I close my eyes
I'm finding myself back on cloud nine
If this is just a dream
I'd rather be asleep
And if I don't wake up I'll be just fine
I'll be just fine

2. Carbon Copies

We're starving to pretend

This moment
Old yet unfamiliar
Too much but not enough
Nothing and all at once
This moment
Respun and overdone
Forget to feel and put on the latest fashion

And so clone adds to clone
See them marching row by row
It's all we've ever known

Break me down
And make me whole again
To fit your perception
Hear the sound?
I'll never understand
Why we're starving to pretend

So strike a pose
These lights make you feel alive
But you're still dead inside
Cause you've become a living mannequin

And so clone adds to clone
See them marching row by row
It's all we've ever known

Break me down
And make me whole again
To fit your perception
Hear the sound?
I'll never understand
Why we're starving to pretend

You break me down and make me whole again
You hear the sound?
We're starving to pretend
We're starving to pretend

Break me down
And make me whole again
To fit your perception
Hear the sound?
I'll never understand
Why we're starving to pretend

Break me down (Break me down)
And make me whole again
To fit your perception
Hear the sound? (Hear the sound?)
I'll never understand
Why we're starving to pretend
We're starving to pretend

3. Fix Me

Am I too far gone?
Petrified but my bones are restless
Continuing to withdraw and disappear with my thoughts
In this headspace where I don't feel safe

Please
I can't see what you see in me
So leave me be
Breathe
Locked inside a room with no key
I need to find some peace

Can anybody fix me?
Tell me what it is to feel
So when you're with me
I can fully let you in
Oh, can you fix me?
Even if it's just skin deep
So I can be free
Can I love you if I never loved myself?

Discontent and filled with regret
Staring at the wall wishing that I was dead
I don't have the strength to leave this bed
Consumed with distorted disappointment

Can anybody fix me?
Tell me what it is to feel
So when you're with me
I can fully let you in
Oh, can you fix me?
Even if it's just skin deep
So I can be free
Can I love you if I never loved myself?

I look into the mirror
I'm not who I used to be
Now there's only just a stranger looking back at me
'Cause everything is lost
And what's left will surely leave
'Til I'm all alone and empty like I've always been
Dear magazine
Sell me your deception
Is she everything she should be
Or false perfection

Beauty's eye peeking through the seams
Now there's only just a stranger looking back at me
I'm everything I'm not, 'cause everything is lost
And what's left will surely leave
What's left will surely leave

Can anybody fix me?
Tell me what it is to feel
So when you're with me
I can fully let you in
Oh, can you fix me?
Tell me what it is to feel
So when you're with me
I can fully let you in
Oh, can you fix me? (Can you fix me?)
Even if it's just skin deep
So I can be free (Can I be free)
Can I love you if I never loved myself?

4. Rose

Picked from the sky and placed in my hand
A rose I will cherish 'til the very end
Beauty so perfect yet so delicate
I could not resist and I don't understand

Mystified our lives perfectly aligned
Now I'm searching for a sign

A victim to a situation
But the fire burns
Lighting my soul
Is this just a cruel reminder I am torn?

Paralyzed from the love we left behind
And how we never even tried

Even though this rose hurts to hold
I just can't let it go
Precious thorns wrap my heart of stone
And cut me to the bone
I can't let it go, I can't let her go

Healing from our mistakes
The choices we made
I hope you'll come back to me someday
With my heart on display
If I let you slip away it would be a tragedy

Outside your walls
Cold, alone (alone)
I know you'll grow into the person I've always known
I know you'll grow even more beautiful

Terrified that the future's undefined
Maybe all we need is time

Even though this rose hurts to hold
I just can't let it go
Precious thorns wrap my heart of stone
And cut me to the bone
Even though this rose hurts to hold
I just can't let it go
Precious thorns wrap my heart of stone
And cut me to the bone

I can't let it go
I can't let her go (I can't let her go)
(Even though this rose hurts to hold)
I can't let it go
I can't let her go
(Even though this rose hurts to hold)

5. Father Said

Father said, father said
Father said, father said

I used to wake up tied in chains
Anchored down, bound to the floor
I could not escape my fate
There was no way out of that hole
Your pressure, a burden
Underneath the surface
I'll always resent and hold you in contempt

Now that I've grown up, I realize
I lived inside (I lived inside)
A web of lies (A web of lies)
Now that both my eyes are open wide
I see behind (I see behind)
Your disguise (Your disguise)

In my mind
The voices won't end
They repeat in my head
In my mind
I'm under a spell
He won't let me forget

For years I was locked in a cell
Pretending for your sake I was somebody else
Tormented for being myself
I came to terms with life in a personal hell

You tried to take what's mine
Your need to control
Will be your own demise
Lost in a world of illusions
Consumed by delusions
Alone with nowhere to go

Now that I've grown up, I realize
I lived inside (I lived inside)
A web of lies (A web of lies)
Now that both my eyes are open wide
I see behind (I see behind)
Your disguise (Your disguise)

In my mind
The voices won't end
They repeat in my head
In my mind
I'm under a spell
He won't let me forget

For years I was locked in a cell
Pretending for your sake I was somebody else
Tormented for being myself
I came to terms with life in a personal hell

For years I was locked in a cell
Pretending for your sake I was somebody else
Tormented for being myself
I came to terms with life in a personal hell

My father's calling me
And I can't turn away
He wants a word with me
But I won't get to speak
My father's calling me
To tell me I should change
He says it's best for me
But I don't feel the same
No
My father's calling me
No

My father's calling me
And I can't turn away
He wants a word with me
But I won't get to speak
My father's calling me
To tell me I should change
He says it's best for me
But I don't feel the same
My father's calling me
And I can't turn away
He wants a word with me
But I won't get to speak
My father's calling me
To tell me I should change
He says it's best for me
But I don't feel the same

6. Let The Colours Fade To Grey

Erase all of my mistakes
And let the colours fade to grey
Lost control of what I thought was mine
Trapped inside of my own life
I have no idea who I am

Drowning in a sea of emotion
Held onto a jaded illusion
Why can't you ever let me go?

On and on
I'm running from
Another hollow interaction
Day by day
I'm looking for
Another way to break the silence

Layin' in bed
Try to forget
All my regrets
As I stare into the sunset
I have no idea who I am (Who I am)

Drowning in a sea of emotion
Held onto a jaded illusion
Why can't you ever let it go?
Words unspoken left us broken
Why can't you ever let me go?

Let the colours fade to grey

Let the colours fade to grey

Drowning in a sea of emotion
Held onto a jaded illusion
Why can't you ever let it go?
Words unspoken left us broken
Why can't you ever let me go?

Lost control of what I thought was mine
Trapped inside of my own life
(My own colours fade to grey)
Why can't you ever let me go?

7. Saint

Can't cut you out of my skin
Buried so deep and coursing through my veins
The pain will always remain
A burden I'll take to an early grave

Caged for all eternity
And damned from the beginning
Force fed a paradigm to which I will never align
It makes me sick

Tainted history
Unable to erase
Stained identity
So ingrained within me

Burn down everything to the ground
I can barely breathe now
Someone set me free
Trying harder not to break down
With everything I am, now
Fighting for a way out
Of this misery
It's just so hard to believe

I carry the weight of the way I was raised
Plagued by agony and bound by the chains of my family name

A test of faith
I'll no longer turn the other cheek
At night I pray upon my knees
Will the shame always stay?
Rip the past from my memory
Can I turn and face who I've always been?
If there is a God, is he listening?
'Cause you'd test the patience of a saint
You'll make a martyr out of me

Tainted history
Unable to erase
Stained identity
So ingrained within me

Burn down everything to the ground
I can barely breathe now
Someone set me free
Trying harder not to break down
With everything I am now
Fighting for a way out
Of this misery
It's just so hard to believe

You'd test the patience of a saint
You'll make a martyr out of me

8. Marked With A Curse

Storm the gates and let the terror rain
Blood marks the dawn of a brand new age
No rest 'till blades are stained
Shatter the heavens and lay it all to waste

Rage, rage
The decision is made
On gods and men
Unleash the Titans

Falling into the shadows
Rising up from the underworld
With the mark of a curse
I'll haunt you like a ghost

I am what the gods have made me
Condemned by your monstrous hands
You will not deny my vengeance
The vultures will feast upon your grave

On gods and men
Unleash the Titans

Falling into the shadows
Rising up from the underworld
With the mark of a curse
I'll haunt you like a ghost
Falling into the unknown
A broken crown laid upon your throne
With the mark of a curse
I'll haunt you like a ghost

I am what the gods have made me
Condemned by monstrous hands
You will not deny my vengeance
The vultures will feast upon your grave
Lay it all to waste
Rage
Heed my call
Death will darken the brightest day onto all
The end is near
Heed my call
Death will darken the brightest day onto all
The end is near

Falling into the shadows
Rising up from the underworld
With the mark of a curse
I'll haunt you like a ghost
Falling into the shadows
Rising up from the underworld
With the mark of a curse
I'll haunt you like a ghost
Falling into the unknown
A broken crown laid upon your throne
With the mark of a curse
I'll haunt you like a ghost

Heed my call
Death will darken the brightest day onto all
The end is near
Storm the gates and let the terror rain
Blood marks the dawn of a brand new age
No rest 'till blades are stained
Shatter the heavens and lay it all to waste

9. White Water

Drowning
Alive but not breathing
Awake but still asleep
You're drowning
Alive but not breathing
Awake but still asleep

I can't unravel
All the secrets you keep hidden underneath

You used to walk on white water
Before the waves took you away from me
You bled into the sea

Losing control
You fall into the void
And watch the ground above you close
Losing control
You fall into the void
And watch the sky get swallowed whole

You used to walk on white water
Before the waves took you away from me
You bled into the sea

Caving in
A hole within my chest
Everything you said is burning circles inside my head
Will this end?
I need to find a way to live

I can't unravel
All the secrets you keep hidden underneath
Inside your mind you're entangled
I've spent countless years trying to unweave

You used to walk on white water
Before the waves took you away from me
You used to walk on white water
Before the waves took you away from me
You bled into the sea

10. Spiral

In the depths of despair I make myself home
(The only place I've ever known)
It draws me in
So I stare at the ceiling

Please salt my wounds
So I can prove to myself
That I feel something more than this nothing
But for now swallow me whole

I spiral into the dark
Watch me unravel as I fall apart
I spiral back to the start
Trapped in a cycle controlling my heart

I fear you'll feel my burden
Disconnected in my brain
Pessimistic, I fixate
Self-inflicted injury
Masochistic misery

The abyss is convincing me
It's just how it is and always will be
Pinned my heart to my sleeve
You watched it bleed and mistook it for apathy

Please salt my wounds
So I can prove to myself
That I feel something more than this nothing

But for now I spiral into the dark
Watch me unravel as I fall apart
I spiral back to the start
Trapped in a cycle controlling my heart

This chasm in my chest
It's only emptiness left
Expecting nothing less
I end where I began

I spiral into the dark
Watch me unravel as I fall apart
I spiral back to the start
Trapped in a cycle controlling my heart

I spiral
This chasm in my chest
I spiral
It's only emptiness

Producers - Lee Albrecht & Sam Guaiana
Writers - Red Handed Denial
Grip Assistant - Rob Licandro
Lyrics - Dominick De Kauwe, KVLTURE, Lauren Babic, Sam Guaiana & Tyson Dang
Make Up - Vanessa Canning
Mastering - Mike Kalajian
Mixing - Sam Guaiana
Photography - Alexander Lam
Video Director - Alex McFarland
Video Editor - Alex McFarland
Vocals - KVLTURE & Lauren Babic